High School Friends

Awhile back I talked to a few of my high school friends.  We decided we wanted to see everyone.  So I planned for a party.  It happened today at my house.  I probably invited at least like 30 people..... how many showed up?  Let me count.  At least 15, I think, I didnt want to count.  The thing is, it was the group that was out casted from the other group.  The other group that over took ours and took half our friends and shunned the rest.   I worked my way into that group but still stuck with the rest.  It was a hard senior year.  Believe me.  So it turned to be that group that showed up, a few that was really apart of both.  Then he showed up..... 2 hours late.  It was actually funny.  We were playing Quelf, a vvery exciting game.  We acted as friends.  I enjoyed it.  Ask me if I like him.  I will tell you ask me again in a month or so.  I used to hate him.  Now I enjoy being just friends.  Not the best friends we were but friends.  Everyone left, I was giving people hugs before they were leaving.  He was up.  I was going to give him a handshake cause I didnt know what he wanted.... he actually hugged me, believe that is weird for the both of us.  It was a good hug.  A tight hug.  A hug that best friends give each other.  Yah, it was good.  These party's I have go to show the ones that actually still care and the ones that will still be with me until the end.... or close.

Orem

I don't want to see him, but at the same time I want to know how he is doing.  The guy that I liked a lot in high school.  The guy that was my best friend until he didn't want to be anything more the guy that ignored me for a year and a half.

I want to see what he is up to see if he still thinks about how horrible things were in high school between us.

Maybe he will show up at the party tomorrow, maybe he will be nice and laugh at all the stupid things I say.  Or maybe it will be awkward and we don't even talk to each other.

I want to be honest here, Im feeling a little left out.  Left out from room 401.  I feel like the odd man out.  The person from Orem, the girl that no one knows about.  The girl that is there and is going through life.  The girl that is undeclared, likes a guy, hangs out with others then them.  The girl that feels like if she opens up she will be judged in a quickie.  The thought of leaving has run through my mind enough for me to actually think about it.  The decision has been to stay to pull through and to keep moving forward, hoping something great will come out of next semester.  Something amazing, something like becoming their best friend.  That is my hope, but coming down here to Orem and hanging out with Christy for 2 weeks made me realize I am completely different from them.  I am as different as a circle to a square.

I have a feeling that next semester is going to be a great semester.  In school and in making new friendship.... possibly even boy's.

I really hope next semester will be better then this last semester.

Christmas?

This does not feel like Christmas.  I was not here for all the family traditions we do.  There was no snow.  I was away busy in college not thinking about Christmas.  I was thinking about how I was going to pass my classes and how I am going to even be able to go to college next semester.  My mind was not on Christmas.

I get back, Christmas tree is up, lights are up, cards are on the wall, Christmas gifts are on the table and presents under the tree, Christmas movies were on, sales were crazy.... etc.

That is how our Christmas is but I was gone for most of it.  I get back and I feel like I am living another life.  Things were the same when I left, plus Christmas stuff.

It was weird to come back and feel like I was still in high school but not feeling the Christmas spirit.

The main thought I heard today, which is a great thought, is; Christ is a shinny present under the tree, waiting for you to open, to recieve and to accept him.

I hope all your Christmas's were bright.  I hope you remembered the true meaning and celebrated Christ's birth.  I hope you felt the spirit and had a wonderful time with your family and friends.

Merry Christmas!

Adventures with Christy

Went to Idaho with Christy.  That was crazy fun.  Drove everywhere with a plastic window.  It broke, almost died from 3 semis.

Our car broke down.  Not even ours.  It was Christy's grandpa's.  She lost her phone.  We went to a Jazz game.  It was crazy fun!

Lonely

Today was supposed to be a good day.  I was supposed to have dinner with my RA.  We agreed on it last night.  Christy was gone at a family re-union and I didn't want to have dinner by myself.

He sat by me in church and after the first talk and at the beginning of the second talk he left.  He never came back.  I texted him after church to see if he wanted to still have dinner.  This girl in my ward invited me to go with her to dinner.  Half an hour later after church, she calls me and said her plans fell through and that she was going to have dinner with someone else.  I told her I was still trying to find Tyler.  She saw him and he told her that he had to work in the office.  I ended not going with her.

After the call, he texted me saying he had to go work in the office and he couldn't make dinner.  We texted for a little bit.  I was a bit sad.  I had been a little emotional all day long.

Today was also the day my home ward was changing.  I get a text from one of my besties in my home ward, they had moved us.  I was not happy.

Later I called my mom, they moved the part that made the 3rd ward and was in the 4th ward into the 5th ward and the 3rd ward was still the same.  I cried when she told me.  I was feeling very lonely.  I decided that I am still going to go to the 3rd ward.  I don't care what people say, Im going to my home ward.

I cried this morning when my friend ask me why I wasn't in my home ward cause it would be our last.  I cried after Tyler texted me, I cried to my mom.  I cried about 5 more times after that.  I was just crying a lot and I needed someone to be there but everyone was gone.

Christy finally came back, we played ping-pong, that let some of the saddness out.  He sat there while we played for a little bit.  Christy also asked me why I liked him, honestly, I listen to my heart (cheesy, right?) my heart just gets all these feelings for him and that is why I like him.

This day gets the random day award.

My favorite song right now.  I like it a lot.

Starring into my eyes

Travis and I were coming back from the lundstrum.  I had to go talk to "him" because I am going to be the last one here and I needed to tell him that.  We ended up talking a lot cause Travis brought up random things the whole time.

Pretty much the whole time, "him" was watching me the whole time.  Even when Travis was talking he would watch me.  When either "him" or I would talk we would just look at each other, I would be the first to look away cause I started to feel awkaward.

I talked to Nancy about it later, we came up with the response of him seeing my reaction to yesterday and my reaction to what we were doing.

Yah that is a no from him.  Ugh, I can't believe it.  I really just want to go with him.  These things always happen to me.  Why do they always happen?  I don't know.  They just do and it hurts most of the time it happens.

I wanted cry about an hour later he told me he couldn't.  That was when it finally setteled in.  I was so heart broken.  I just needed someone to cry to.  I ended up not, I ended up looking stronger then I really am.

I still feel the need to cry into someones arms.   Not just about this, about the other million things that happen too.

The feelings of yesterday.

Okay so I hate putting people's names on here I just feel like something bad is going to happen if I do put their name on.  But I have seen a lot of blogs with people's name on them and nothing has happened to them or their friends so I guess I will start using people's names.

Yesterday was a day filled with many feelings.  I woke up by the knocking on our door's cause Christy's roommates were coming to get her to open their presents.  I went back to bed but then Christy texts me an hour later and asks me if I would like to have pancakes.  So I went down and watched them open presents and then took their "family" pics.  It was cute to see how well they worked together and how much they loved each other.

The Linger Longer was fun.  I chilled with Christy, Cole, Brice, Shacy and Alecee.  We decorated cookies and chilled.  It was pretty dang fun.

Church was amazing.  Sacrament was the Christmas program.  Chris Brown, a kid in our ward, sang and I felt the spirit so much when he sang.  It was so beautiful.

Ward Prayer was good, like always.  There was 3 musical numbers and they were all good.  One was a girls camp song, I had to laugh.  Then our devotional was by the compasionate committee.  We wrote on a peice of paper someones name in our ward and something nice about them.  I chose Shacy and Christy.  Shacy because I got to hang out with her all week and have a good time and Christy cause I also got to hang out with her all week and she is just super cute.

Shacy and I were going to make muffins and give them to people but then we didn't.  We went to Shacy'a friends, CJ, to give him a note and some candy to help him through finals.  We dropped them off at his door and ran out.  We came back and I just had to ask him, he will be known as him, I am not using his name.

I was freaking out.  Shacy was sitting in the lobby and I was freaking out by the door.  I knocked on the door, Austin asked who it was, "Wizerd of Oz." (said B) "What's the password?" (said A) "Bob Marely is Awesome." (said B) "Wrong" (said A) "Austin is awesome." "Correct." (said A) The door opened and him was hiding behind it.

Austin asked who I needed and I pointed to him. "Do you like the Jazz?" (said B) "Yah" (said H) "Well I have 2 tickes and I was wondering if you would like to go with me." (said B) "Hm what day?" (said H) "21st." (said B) "What month?" (said H) "This month." (said B) "That is a...." (said H) "Wednesday." (said B) He checked his calender. "Do it Tyler! Go with her!" said Austin. "Are you going to be staying up here?" (said H) "I don't know yet." (said B) I wanted to tell him that I needed to see if he could go or not but I didn't. "Well you see I work until the 22nd and I have to be on call and I haven't checked the scheduale yet. And I have to be on call for 3 of those 6 day's." (said H) "So pretty much 50/50 chance." (said B) "Excatly." (said H) "Well thats fine...." (said B) "I will get back to you soon. Probably tomorrow." (said H) "Okay, thanks." (said B) Something like that.

I then showed them that thing that I got at the auction that I haven't used yet, so you can't know yet.

I came up and was talking to Shacy.  I was just thinking about something we talked about before.  So here is what I think.  I have never been in a serious relationship with anyone, I have never been in any kind of relationship.  I believe that I had done something really important in the Pre-Mortal life to have Heavenly Father save me from hurt or that he has something planned for me in the future and he is going to give me one person and they will be the one.  Everytime I think about it I just feel warmth, comfort from my Heavenly Father.  I trust in Heavenly Father that whatever happens that it is the right thing and it will all work out.

I love Christmas.  I found this awesome picture

The true importance is not the presents that santa brings, it is Christ's birth.

Auction

Last night was my last time in IWA, sad, right?  I was sad but we had an amazing time.  We had dinner at our leaders house and then we listened to the testimonies from some of the prophets and apostels.  We then had an auction.  They gave each of us fake money.  We each had thirty dollars.

Our leader had a lot of stuff.  She had been saving this stuf for the past year.  There was purses, scarves, photo albums, roller blades, sun glasses, gloves, hats, picture frames, quotes, candles, lotion, perfume,  bracelets, clothes, pajama's, socks, scary stuffed animals, and last but not least 2 tickets to a jazz game.  I was determined to get them.

We started off.  I didn't get some of the things I wanted cause some people were crazy hard for some.  The tickets were up in the frist 10 mintues.  I hadn't spent anything yet.  I wanted them.  It was me and this girl who kept biding higher and higher.  I bid 17, she stopped.  I got them!!!  I was so happy.  I then thought immediatly who I wanted to take.  Guess who.  Yes him.  I have to ask him now.  Hopefully it is less "datie."

So the night goes on.  I get some sunglasses, a surprise bag full of watch's earings and rings, some candle holders, a man fishing and something that will be revealed later on.  Im excited to use it but you are going to have to wait to see what it is.  Muhahaha

San Juan 401 Christmas Party

As roommates we had a Christmas Party Sunday night.

We started cooking dinner after we got home from church.  We had lasagna, salad, garlic bread and green beans.

We then cleaned the dishes and headed to go take family pictures

The best picture of the night.

Look at the eyes of the girl on the guy.  Best picture ever!!!!  Hahahahhahahahahahhahhahahahaha

We then went to family prayer and then started making our cookies.

We then opened presents that we had for each other and then chilled and then made ornaments and watched Elf.

It was a fun crazy night.

Scream

At 11:59 pm last night me and a few others screamed at the top of our lungs for about 30-45 seconds.  It wasn't quite hours yet so we decided to do it then and stop at 12 am.

Our RA came running up a few minutes after that.  The four of us who screamed ran into the kitchen and hid.  The other got the door and was like "I don't know what you are talking about."  She came back into the living room and sat.  He searched their apartment.  We decided we looked to suspicious so we ran to the couch's.  He came in at that point.  He was a little concerned until he saw his roommate and he started busting out laughing.

Oh the joy's of San Juan and the many adventures that it brings.  I love it.

:|

This is to you roommate, you know who you are....... you sleep in room A if you didn't get it...... laugh all you want at my blogs.

:|

Good Day

Wednesday was a good day.  Yah I know its Friday but I haven't found the time to blog until now.  It first started off with me leaving math and going to the bus.  A friend showed up and then another friend and we were just chatting.  They were 2 guys from my building and we just talked about pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh.  That was pretty awesome.

Later I was leaving to go to my next class and the bus was late but no worries I had a lot of friends around and we were keeping ourselves pretty entertained.  The bus came and guess who came off?  Right, the dude I like, we were talking about how he finally rode the bus.  I turned around for a second to see how many people were still getting on the bus and then I turned back to him.  Right when I did that he was about to say something.  He started to say "Hey..." Something like that and then he said later.  What did he want to say, you ask?  Well I ask the same thing..... still.

People kept texting me and I felt loved and I had a great time at IWA and then I just chilled with my cutie roomies plus our 2 people who pretty much live here.  I also got to see him again but he didnt say anything but there were people so Im guessing that was why.

It was just a good day and now I have a challenge..... Im not telling you it because its awesome and I really hope I can do it.