I don't want to see him, but at the same time I want to know how he is doing. The guy that I liked a lot in high school. The guy that was my best friend until he didn't want to be anything more the guy that ignored me for a year and a half.
I want to see what he is up to see if he still thinks about how horrible things were in high school between us.
Maybe he will show up at the party tomorrow, maybe he will be nice and laugh at all the stupid things I say. Or maybe it will be awkward and we don't even talk to each other.
I want to be honest here, Im feeling a little left out. Left out from room 401. I feel like the odd man out. The person from Orem, the girl that no one knows about. The girl that is there and is going through life. The girl that is undeclared, likes a guy, hangs out with others then them. The girl that feels like if she opens up she will be judged in a quickie. The thought of leaving has run through my mind enough for me to actually think about it. The decision has been to stay to pull through and to keep moving forward, hoping something great will come out of next semester. Something amazing, something like becoming their best friend. That is my hope, but coming down here to Orem and hanging out with Christy for 2 weeks made me realize I am completely different from them. I am as different as a circle to a square.
I have a feeling that next semester is going to be a great semester. In school and in making new friendship.... possibly even boy's.
I really hope next semester will be better then this last semester.
Britney,
ReplyDeleteThis makes me so sad. I am so sorry you've felt that way and that you feel like you're the odd one out. I want you to feel like you can be yourself with us, because I'm sure we're even weirder than you are and we don't care who knows it. I love you more than you know, and it hurts me to know that you feel this way. I am so sorry. I think each of us has felt this to some degree, because I know I have. There were many times I thought about packing up and leaving for home. I felt like an odd-man-out when we moved up. I went to high school with these girls, but I wasn't really friends with them and they were all best friends. I was so scared to move in. I'm glad that you've decided to stay up at school because I'd miss you so much[and your sass, yes, your sass :)] and, just because you're different from us doesn't mean we are going to judge you and not love you just as much. Each of us are so very different from each other, it's just finding that common ground you can build upon. I really hope this next semester goes better for you and I'm here for you whenever you need me :) love ya, Brit!