Alone

I have never felt so alone. 3 roomates are back.  They are in another room hanging out and have a fantastic time.  Then there is me sitting all alone.  I guess I have 2 options.... try and be friends or just be close people but not even talk to them.  I want to try and be friends but it is so hard when they all know each other.  I know its only the 3rd day but it is really hard right now.  I want to call someone but its 11:00 at night and most people I know are asleep.  Ugh.  I don't want to cry right now cause I know someone will walk in while Im crying.  I wish I had like a boyfriend or someone cause then I would call them and I would feel better.  Lonely.  So lonely.  Another trail another day I guess.  I want to be there friends, but I don't want to insert myself into there rooms when they are having a good time and then I will be in there interrupting there good time.  I want to cry so bad right now.  Ugh tears are coming.  I want to talk to Reddie or Frodo but I know Frodo will think Im stupid and I already told Reddie a little bit about it.  Maybe I will call someone tomorrow.  I don't know who but someone.  Maybe I will call North Carolina cause she is going through some of the same things but in a different lonely way.

Im so lonely.