Idiot

And the idiot award goes to....... BRITNEY!!!!

Today I was making some dinner.  It was something like a cup of noodles but a different type of food and brand.  I put it in the microwave and I forgot to put water in it.  Im an idiot.  Holly noticed the smoke so she stoped it and opened it.  Immediatly a wave of nasty burning smell comes.  She quickly shut the door.  She sprayed the area with smelly stuff.  I apologized and I felt so bad.  She suggested that we take it down stairs and outside.  So I took it downstairs and outside.  I opened it and threw out the food.  We sat while it aired out.  She went inside to play the piano and I sat there feeling like a complete idiot and wanting to move out.  I feel so bad.  I made the whole freaking dorm smell.  I want to cry.  The doors are closed and Im in my room sitting feeling bad cause Im an idiot.  I was so excited today to get to know everyone.  Then I did a stupid thing.  Im an idiot.

Today I woke up and later around 12 we went and signed in for connections.  I then walked around with Holly to see where her classes were.  We went to the gym building and we watched peopel do gymnastics.  That was pretty cool.  I wanted to get to know everyone when we got back but April and Erika were not home.  So I was at my computer trying to fix my Sanza.  Holly left and I was lonesome.  So I texted Frodo and went and hung out with him.  It was probably like 45 minutes later when I went back to my dorm.  Thats when that incident happened.  Im an idiot.  Frodo told me I could call him anytime but I don't like bugging people about what I am feeling.  I like to listen to others but I just don't really tell people what I truly am feeling.  Sorry to all those friends of mine who are reading this and are like "WHAT?"  Sometimes I can tell them but other times I can't and I don't want to bug anyone so I will live with my stupidity for now.  We still have like 5 hours before everyone goes to sleep.  *banging my head against the wall saying "stupid, stupid, stupid"*

I can't wait until classes starts where I can meet new people.  The first day I got here after my parents left I was thinking how I wanted to get married now so I didn't have to be lonely.  Thats funny but some people do do that.  Im not Im going to wait until Im like 21 at least.  But I did think that.

Hopefully things will go better tonight and I wont have to be an idiot.....

This is part 1 of what I am kind of feeling right now

part 2 of what I am feeling.  Not the whole song only some parts.